Gimli's Foretelling
by Sammael Silverpen
Summary: When Galadriel sent messages to the three hunters via Gandalf, why did no one stop to ponder the strange words she passed to Gimli. Could they have contained a hidden message? Well this is what COULD have happened


I do not own Lord of the rings, sadly. That right belongs to Mr Tolkien, who is wonderful for inventing such a great world.

* * *

_But indeed she sent words to you, and neither dark nor sad_

'"_To Gimli son of Gl__ó__in," she said, "give his Lady's greetings. Lockbearer, wherever thou goest my thought goes with thee. But have a care to lay thine axe to the right tree!"'_

Gimli's heart could have burst with joy. His beloved Galadriel had sent him a message. And not just any message; but one, which if carefully analysed, contained a secret message. After all why would Galadriel refer to herself as _his_ lady? Or to say that she was thinking of him? There was but one obstacle in their path...

His thoughts were interrupted by the soft singing of Legolas drifting on the night air. Normally Gimli would have simply ignored the elf but then he heard the words properly

"....but I have woe

My eyes have never beheld the light

Of Celeborn, the great towering silver tree

Nor Laurelin in her golden majesty..."

Gimli's head shot up. Celeborn? Instantly the dwarf was on his feet and he dashed over to where Legolas was sitting.

"Is something the matter, Gimli?" said Legolas breaking off from his song.

"Celeborn. What does Celeborn mean?" asked the dwarf urgently.

"Celeborn means silver tree." replied Legolas, completely confused. "Lord Celeborn of the Galadhrim was named after the silver tree of Valinor, Celeborn. But why is that so important?"

Gimli did not answer the elf. Instead his mind was whirling with theories of his own. The words of Galadriel echoed in his mind "_lay thine axe to the right tree!"_

Tree...Silver tree....Celeborn! Gimli could have leapt for joy. Galadriel, in her roundabout elvish way, had confessed her love her him and had asked him to kill her husband! The dwarf chuckled darkly to himself. After all, it wasn't that far to Lothlorien....

* * *

Celeborn wandered down the secluded paths of Lothlorien, thoroughly enjoying himself. After all the birds were singing, the sun was shining and the Fellowship were very very far away by now. At least that was what he had been thinking. Except for the fact that a certain member of the Fellowship was standing on the path in front of him. And that member had a very menacing look on his face and was twirling a very large sharp axe. That member was none other than Gimli son of Glóin.

"Greetings Gimli." said Celeborn carefully, "What brings you back to Lothlorien? Not bad news I hope?"

The dwarf's eyes narrowed. "No." he said just as carefully. "I'm just looking for a _blacksmith. _My axe is rather dull. I need it sharpened properly so that it chops well." The look on Gimli's face was so hostile that Celeborn felt rather nervous. He stole a glance at the twirling axe.

He swallowed awkwardly. "Yes well, the blacksmith..." he pointed down one of the adjacent paths, "Go down this path, take a right, continue onwards, then take the next two lefts, another right, off the edge of the cliff and into the river. He lives in a small cave infested with dwarf-eating bears on the other side of the river. Got all that?" he said in what he hoped was a cheery voice.

"Why don't I just take this path here," Gimli growled, tapping a signpost that read 'Blacksmith' in large letters, "And follow the signs?"

Celeborn grimaced. "Yes well umm..." Celeborn stammered "That's the long route. Mine is much faster." He glanced at Gimli's axe again. It looked very sharp already to him.

"Thank you." said the dwarf smiling evilly. "Goodbye Celeborn." The poor elf nearly fainted; Gimli had made it sound like he was proclaiming a death sentence. Still grinning the dwarf wandered away down the path.

* * *

Many hours later Celeborn decided to head back to his home, where his wonderful wife Galadriel waited for him. She was the perfect wife in his opinion; sweet and kind and clever and beautiful...

Celeborn smiled dreamily to himself and closed his eyes, picturing her beauty. Just as he did so, something small and heavy barrelled into him. Eyes flying open in shock, he found himself looking into the eyes of Gimli and also found a very sharp axe pressed against his throat.

"Any last words before I slit your throat and claim Galadriel as mine?" said Gimli rather pleasantly.

"Well now that you mention it, yes, I do." Celeborn gulped. Casting his eyes about he saw exactly what he was looking for. He sighed inwardly in relief.

"Really?" said Gimli, disappointed. "Well get on with it then."

Taking a deep breath, he shouted with all his might "GALADHRIM ATTACK!!"

Twelve elves jumped down from the trees. To Celeborn's dismay, none of them were armed or even attempting to remove his intended murderer.

"What are you doing!" he shrieked. "get him!"

"Sorry, my lord." said one of the elves with a sheepish look, "We have strict orders from Lady Galadriel not to harm the dwarf."

Celeborn's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Just as he was preparing himself to rage at the insubordination, Galadriel's voice spoke in his mind,

"_Celeborn, Gimli, return to me at once"_

Gimli scowled and moved away so that Celeborn could stand up. The other elves vanished into the trees. Celeborn dusted himself off and marched down the path with Gimli at his heels. He glanced down at the dwarf.

"Why are you trying to kill me?" he asked, half to himself.

The dwarf looked at him with bright eyes, "Because Galadriel told me to."

Celeborn nearly fell over in shock. That, he decided, was a terrifying prospect.

* * *

Galadriel sat upon her sparkling throne, daydreaming happily as Gimli and her rather upset husband entered the room.

"What is the meaning of this, Galadriel?" Celeborn, half shouted.

"If you must know Cely," she said, inspecting her fingernails. "I've grown rather tired of you" Celeborn very nearly burst into tears.

"But how?" he choked, "I thought you loved me!"

"oh come on Cely, look at yourself!" she said condescendingly "You're old; prematurely grey haired; you get upset over little things; you ate the last cookie; and you're boring!" she smiled sadly "Whereas Gimli is young, blood-thirsty, and unbelievably cute!"

Celeborn could only gape as Galadriel finished with "let's face it Cely, we just aren't compatible."

"Oh!" stammered Celeborn "so two elves aren't compatible but an elf and a dwarf are!"

"pretty much." shrugged Galadriel "now be a dear and lower your head so my future husband can chop it off."

"Don't I get any last words?" begged Celeborn, lowering his head reluctantly

"No." growled Gimli. "You've already had them."

"What?!" shrieked Celeborn "I have not!"

"You have." repeated Gimli insistently "They were: _Galadhrim attack!_ If you remember."

Galadriel waved at him, "Bye-bye Cely! See you in Valinor!" as Gimli happily lopped off Celeborn's head.

The end.

* * *

A.N. Thank you for the reviews. yes you're right, Telperion was the silver tree and Laurelin was the gold. my mistake. I fixed it though!


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